The last few months have been kind of a creative slump for me. I used to draw on a frequent basis, but I haven't actually done a full-scale drawing since 2006. This is partly because of our move to Maryland and then in turn, our move into our house. My job has also shifted to include more responsibilities. It bothers me that I am in a creative black hole. Sure, we painted the living room and lower level of our house. Yes, I designed our living room theme and came up with a kick-ass exterior color palette. While these have been victories on the creativity front, it seems that something is missing.I've actually given it quite a lot of thought and I think I have found a partial explanation. In my early 20s (God, it is sad that I actually just typed that) I had a retail job that was headed nowhere and no where near the fiscal responsibility that I have now. I used drawing and model building as a kind of creative escapism to escape the crap job and the crap apartment. There's something I miss about those days. Sure, I didn't have healthcare and I had a car that was beat to hell. We did live across the street from a crack house. But looking back on it all, it seems that it was almost carefree. Our jobs barely paid our bills. We had some serious credit card debt. We blew our paychecks on going out and whatever else struck our fancy. I guess that's the tradeoff. Now I have a good job and a surplus of funds. I have a car that runs (despite the need for constant maintenance). I have healthcare and we have wiped out our credit card debt.
I no longer need creative escapism. I miss it though. I miss writing my dark poetry and creating drawings to go with it. This blog is the closest I've come to what I used to do and it is actually tough to come up with ideas. I remember a time when I could look at a sheet of paper and see the drawing I had not yet started.
I used to be a dreamer and now it seems like I have woken up and can't get back to sleep. I can remember a time when I couldn't fathom the idea of not drawing.
How does one get a jump start on creativity?
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You get a jump start on creativity by making it a priority. Even if you don't need creativity to escape from the desperation of a dead end job that creates a stress-inducing lack of funds, it sounds like you need creativity for the survival of true quality of life (you know, the stuff that goes deeper than the basic human need to NOT live across the street from a crackhouse). That feeling that you've put some large and lovely part of yourself on a shelf will only grow if it isn't addressed. Do something creative every day. Buy a sketchbook and jot, jot, jot. This is who you are. And if you're not true to yourself, how can you ever fully connect to another--friend, wife, child, etc. Draw me a picture, Jay! Write me a poem!
ReplyDeleteI'm not kidding. I want a poem or a drawing for Christmas...
ReplyDeleteMaybe a drawing...we've been making a very good effort to get our downstairs set up and I can actually now see the drawing desk, since we moved all of the stuff away from it! :) I'm not at the dark poem level just yet. I've been feeling the urge to draw as of late, so I'm hoping that by putting my drawing desk where I want it and unpacking my good pens and markers that this will kick me into gear...
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